Portfolio: Sam

From: Leonie Giel

Describing the Plot

Sequence	Where is Sam and what can you see there?	What is Sam doing?	What might Sam be thinking?
0:00-0:34	He is walking home then stops just in front of the property and looks around.	Sam is properly walking home.	He looks a bit sad and like he got punched.
0:35-1:10	He walks into some grass behind the house. Afterwards you see him walking toward the house. There is trash everywhere.	Sam changes his clothes.	He is probably hoping that no one saw him.
1:11-2:08	He enters the house, finds a note and then heads into the bathroom.	Sam goes to the bathroom, removes the dress and looks into the mirror.	He might be questioning why this happened to him and if it's his own fault.
2:09-2:39	He goes inside his bedroom to look at his old toys.	He gathers his action figures and hides them in a box beneath his bed.	He probably feels like he doesn't want to play with "boy toys" anymore.
2:40-4:19	Sam has gone outside to spend some time in the outside.	He is observing the animals and flowers, simply taking in the environment.	He is potentially contemplating his next steps.
4:20-6:03	Sam is still out in the fields, surrounded by high grass.	Realizing he is lost and cant find the path back, he lies down and attempts to sleep.	He might be worried about what to do now that he's lost his way home.
6:04-8:06	After spending the night outdoors, Sam wakes up beside a lake.	He heads to the water, but then encounters a female version of himself and bolts.	He maybe is questioning whether he truly wants to transition or live as a girl.
8:07-9:16	Once again, he wakes up in the middle of a field.	He quickly collects his belongings, tossed his dress into the grass, and flees the scene.	He is likely reflecting on his recent actions and choices.

Vocabulary

balancedausgeglichen

betrayedbetrogen

embarrassedbeschämt

horrifiedentsetzt

weakschwach

gratefuldankbar

proudstolz

thankfuldankbar

boredgelangweilt

scaredängstlich

insecureunsicher

concernedbesorgt

shyschüchtern

hurtverletzt

surprisedüberrascht

resentfulverbittert

frightenedverängstigt

jealousneidisch

worriedbesorgt

harassedbelästigt

excitedaufgeregt

suspiciousmisstrauisch

desperateverzweifelt

thoughtfulnachdenklich

relievederleichtert

confusedverwirrt

maliciousboshaft

satisfiedzufrieden

Feelings — Which word fits?

a) Don't complain! You've had such a great time. Try to be more grateful.

b) I cant believe Georg is so jealous. Did you tell him that Paul is just your cousin?

c) That guy stood so close to me and watched me the whole time. I felt kind of harassed.

d) I've never seen him smile. He seems to be very resentful.

e) Lets plan this party for Tom! He will be so surprised.

f) She promised me she'd show up and she let me down. That's so weak of her.

g) Usually he's either mad or extremely happy. But today he seems more balanced.

h) I can't stand that person! How can someone be so malicious?

i) Thank goodness! You can't believe how relieved I am!

k) No, I won't call him again. I don't want to look desperate.

l) I felt so embarrassed when i fell off the chair.

m) Andi was very excited at the cinema. But Dani looked really bored.

Feelings: From German to English

Ich war gelangweilt während des Vortrags.

I was bored during the presentation.

Lanica ist eine sehr unsichere Person.

Lanica is a very insecure person.

Ich fühlte mich zu schwach um aufzustehen.

I feel too weak to stand up.

Jasper ist misstrauisch weil er den Mann nicht kennt.

Jasper is suspicious because he doesn't know the man.

Was für ein boshafter typ!

What a malicious guy!

Klara fühlte sich von Hannah bedrängt.

Klara felt harassed by Hannah.

Ich würde mich nicht als eifersüchtig beschreiben.

I wouldn't describe myself as jealous.

Ich war verwirrt während der mathearbeit.

I was confused during the math test.

Maxi ist mit seiner Note zufrieden.

Maxi is satisfied with his grade.

Du kannst stolz auf dich sein!

You can be proud of yourself.

Mein Vater ist eine ausgeglichene Person.

My father is a balanced person.

Ich bin so dankbar so tolle freunde zu haben.

Im so grateful to have such wonderfull friends.

Be Sam*s inner voice

"I never want to be a girl again. It hurts me to know that I cant tell my parents the truth. I feel so desperate and scared. Looking at my blue dress... It reminds me of how confused I've been. I'm still unsure if I should tell them or just keep hiding. I know I would feel relieved and finally proud of myself if I'd tell them, but I think I cant do it just yet. What would they say? Would they be horrified or support me? My heart is racing. I need to go back home, but everything feels different now. I'm tired. Maybe one day I will be brave enough, but for now, Ill just keep my secret a little longer. It's so hard to be balanced when my mind is a mess."

Sam's outing: Acting out a dialogue

Mom

Hey Sam, I noticed your light blue dress is missing. Where is it?

Sam

I don't have it anymore. I threw it away...

Mom

Why would you do that? Was there something wrong with it?

Sam

I've been scared to tell you for a while, but I just dont feel like a girl. My interests are totally different. I was really scared of how you'd react, so I kept it to myself.

Mom

Sam, I love you regardless of what you wear. You can always talk to me about anything.

Sam

Thanks, Mom. That means a lot. I feel so much more relieved now and actually proud that I finally said it.

Mom

I'm always on your side, Sam. I love you.

Sam

Love you too, Mom.

Personal statements by trans people

Name	Problems	Personal development	Ideas on societal attitudes
Elijah, 19	Constant fear of being attacked again due to gender identity.	X	X
Samra, 21	Mental health issues caused by being forced to live as someone they're not.	X	Lives in a society that doesn't accept you.
Sophia, 20	People at university refuse to use proper pronouns.	X	X
James, 47	Stalked for two years, received threatening letters (with dangerous things), beaten up three times.	X	X
Abebi, 34	Physically assaulted in a bar bathroom; accused of being in the wrong place. Avoids public toilets now.	X	X
Jo, 22	Used to pretend to be someone else.	Feels more comfortable being open; can finally be himself as a transgender male.	Progress in society has helped him to open up.
Logan, 31	Was in denial for years, felt ashamed and worried about others opinions. Harassed by co-workers.	Found it easier to come to terms with identity and come out to others.	Wider societal awareness, documentaries, and laws against discrimination help.

Commentary: Responding to Feedback

Reply to the comment from "cat lover"

I believe your comment is quite disrespectful since it's impossible for you to know what he is going through. If you find it hard to comprehend why someone would want to change their gender, it would be better to seek information from an expert on the subject. Telling someone to just "try harder" to fit in is completely inappropriate and simply not something you should do.

In my opinion, Sam is doing a great job of increasing awareness. It is very obvious how uneasy and uncomfortable he feels in his own skin. His story might encourage others to finally be honest about their own identities.

After all, everyone deserves respect regardless of their feelings, even if some people fail to understand that. I also find it very inspiring to see so many people in the comments finding the bravery to come out themselves.

Dialogue

Sam walks throug the door sees his mom, he left home in the blue dress but now is wearing a pair of jeans and a boy-ish shirt.

Mom: what are you wearing? where is you're blue dress?

Sam: I don't like it, it looks ugly, i threw it away in the field

Mom: what do you mean? it looks beatiful on you, on my pretty girl.

Sam: No, mom i'm not a girl.

Dad: You know that dress was expencive right?

Mom: What do you mean by that?

Sam: I wanted to tell you for a while now, but i was scared but i feel like a boy. I am a boy and i always was one i was just born in the wrong body.

Dad: Son what are you telling me?

Mom: Sweetheart what are you telling me? your a girl, my girl.

Sam: Mom i'm still youre child the one you love with youre whole heart, who loves to watch movies with you and who loves to ride my bike throug the field and the one you always get ice cream with after a bad day at school but just not as a girl anymore i'm Sam now not Sofie and i hope you can accept that and that you still love me the same.

Dad: Sofie what are you telling us?

Mom: Oh sweetie i love you no matter wath you're still my child and nothing could change that.

then they hug

Dad: Are you a boy now?

Mom: I always wantet a son anyway

Sam: I love you mom

Mom: I love you too Sam

Dad: You know now we can fish / hunt together now